The lost art of insults
"We have lost the art of the well-crafted insult. Here are some examples of classy insults from a time gone by" (my favourites in italics):
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-- Winston Churchill (of Clement Attlee)
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."-- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
-- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-- Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-- Moses Hadas
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-- Groucho Marx
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-- Mark Twain
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one."
-- George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-- Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-- Jack E. Leonard
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by
diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-- James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address
-- Mark Twain
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-- Oscar Wilde